Just off for a dog walk. Everything much better than yesterday. The first carer went to see Dad last night after I’d spent an hour talking through the window to him at 6 with a G&T. He said she was a “very pleasant woman who’d also been recently widowed”. She also gained his respect by not trying to put him to bed as he’d feared.
She’s going back today at 9:30, then a couple of times more until Dad’s self-funded care package starts tomorrow. The physios are going at 11 today to see his home living arrangements
The village support group has been amazing and we’ve got loads of ready meals to keep us going. Lovely Lena has made Dad some egg mayonnaise specially as it’s one of the few things he thinks he can eat.
Dad says I have to acknowledge he feels too upset to eat a lot now and he knows his appetite will recover gradually. No one must patronise him at the moment. He might be weak but all his marbles are firmly in place!
The physios have been in to see Dad. They’re going to send him a cushion so it’s easier to get up out of his chair and a decent walking stick. They put a higher chair in the conservatory so he can get out of it easier. They also gave him a basic medical check. Despite being a bit chesty, his temperature, blood pressure and oxygen saturation are all normal.
We felt very reassured. The physios also said they’d help get Dad to Mum’s funeral if necessary. Of course we don’t know the date or any arrangements. That all starts tomorrow.
Some very sad news this week, my granny very sadly passed away on Friday, she had been sick for a while but unfortunately we discovered that she had contracted Covid on Wednesday and from there her condition worsened very quickly. It was a very sad day on Thursday when we learnt that she was unlikely to recover, however it was made much better by a nice zoom video chat between the Haydocks, many of whom I hadn’t seen in a long time. Hopefully when this crisis is all over we will all be able to meet up and give her the proper send off she deserves.
Pedro Sanchez announced earlier this week that from this weekend we can go out for excercise, however only between the hours of 6-10am and 8-11pm so that children and at risk people can go out undisturbed in the times between . This morning I got up at 7am so I could make the most of this time. Unsurprisingly it was rammed, we had been told to maintain a distance of 2 metres distance however with so many people out at the same time it doesn’t seem very feasible. Nevertheless it was nice to be out running again, luckily my runs around the patio have managed to somewhat maintain my fitness.
I had another haircut this week, I am told that barbers will be reopening from Monday which can’t come quick enough…
Earlier this week Pedro Sanchez also announced Spain’s deescalation measures. He says there will be 4 phases with phase 4 being a ‘new normality’ where we will remain until there is a vaccine. Currently we are in phase 0, a preparation stage where lockdown measures will remain. Phase 1 will begin on May 11th with small shops reopening by appointment only, restaurants and bars with outside seating will also reopen, but only at 30% capacity. I read that a lot of bars and restaurants won’t reopen as for them it would cost more to reopen at 30% capacity than to stay shut until they can serve more people. From phase 1 Spain will progress to each stage every 2 weeks depending on the situation and if we can maintain the current downward trend. The idea is to be in the ‘new normality’ by late June, we still don’t know what this entails exactly but it should at least be fairly close to the way things were before the crisis.
Another day, another drama. Yesterday it became clear that Dad wasn’t coping well with the situation and his grief. He wasn’t answering the phone, so I phoned the GP to make them aware of the situation. They were very sympathetic and said “Just call us if you need anything”. Well, actually that’s exactly why I DID call you. Oh, never mind…
In between phoning relatives and friends to tell them about Mum and liaising with the hospital and undertaker for Mum’s funeral (not to mention walking the two dogs) I went round to Dad’s and found him in the conservatory. I managed to bang on the window to get his attention and got him to put his hearing aid in and find his phone. At least he was ok, but only just. He’s too grief-stricken and weak to function properly.
Because we’re not sure whether Dad has picked up the virus from Mum, I called 111. The upshot was, they don’t allow you to report for another person. You have to get the patient to phone or at least be with them. I told them Dad was deaf and not good with phones. They told me to “go near him and wear a mask or summat”. Thanks, I’ll get back to you on that one…
I decided I couldn’t leave my dad without seeing another human face. So later on, I sat in the garden and made him sit in the conservatory with doors and windows closed and we talked by phone and raised a glass to Mum. He was so exhausted, he fell asleep while talking to me. He’s hardly eating and finding it difficult to walk.
Back at my holiday cottage, the wonderful village support team texted me to make sure all was ok and advised me to call the social services out of hours team and try to get a home Coronavirus test for Dad.
I called the out of hours team at 6 am today and Dad’s case is being referred to the social work team who start at 8 am. Feeling hopeful.
My quest to get Dad a home test kit hasn’t been quite as successful so far. If anyone suggests that I drive him to a test centre or ask him to drive himself, I’ll scream.
8:45 social worker Verna calls. Very sympathetic. Asked if dad was feeling unwell and I made the mistake of saying “yes”. Her reply “Well it’s not us you need, it’s 111, we’ll come in if necessary on the back of that call, but I’m warning you, we’re very under-resourced if Dad wouldn’t consider a care home or respite care”. I told her I’d tried 111 yesterday but drawn a blank because they needed to speak to Dad himself. She told me to wield my Power of Attorney. Oh yes, that! Thank goodness we did one for Mum and Dad last year.
Dad’s up and I’ve seen him through the window for a chat over the phone. To cut a long story short, after a lot of phone calls, the social services have arranged a skeleton care package for him this weekend and he’ll be on a proper self-funded package from Monday. The social services mobility team is going in tomorrow to assess his living arrangements. Phew.
Now my fear is that Dad will reject the help, even though he’s clearly incapable of anything at the moment. He was less than impressed when I said someone was coming to put him to bed between 8 and 9 pm. A return of the old truculence is a good sign I think.
When leaving Dad, John the lovely next door neighbour flagged me down to see how Dad was. It seems that when Mum was at home last week, she fell and Dad rushed next door without thinking to ask for help. John went into the house and helped pick Mum up. Now we have something else to worry about. It’s been eight days since he touched Mum so I’m cautiously optimistic he hasn’t caught anything.
Nicky and Paulie sent me my own care package. Thanks guys! One day normal life WILL resume.
I got a beautiful card and gift from a lovely MA student, Bella, I mentored this year as well. Things like this make all the voluntary hours we put in doing this sort of stuff worthwhile.
Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers for mum. She is peaceful and comfortable and being well looked after. Will update later when I have more news.
We got the sad news that Mum passed away this morning at Chesterfield Royal. Dad is devastated and it’s very hard that we can’t have contact until we’re sure he’s in the clear.
Happy days long-distance walking with Dad and JessSchool days
We will know more about funeral arrangements and so on after the weekend.
All we know so far is that we won’t be able to give Mum the send off she deserves until the lockdown has ended.
Mum always said she wanted her ashes to be scattered at one of her favourite spots: an icy rock pool where we used to swim on Cader Idris, second highest mountain in Wales, so that’s definitely one of the ways we’ll be commemorating her when the situation permits.
Mum’s condition has deteriorated a little. It’s been a busy morning of calls and trying to support Dad. We managed to get a four-way call going with him this morning so at least he can see our faces. That’s my priority today, so will post more news when I have time.
Mum is comfortable and peaceful. She’s in no pain but continues to decline. Dad managed to log onto a Zoom chat with Richard and Sally and family and me, Jack and Leon. It gave him some comfort to see our faces and know we are thinking of him, but no substitute for the big hug he needs at the moment.
2022 and all that 